Sunday, August 1, 2010

Back up again

Well - we made it through another week!! Thanks for those of you who shared ideas. After a great week of VBS, we'll be hitting the pool again and going to Hawaiian Falls for the first time. Water, water and more water!!

I think I've made it over my summer slump. I wish I could say that I won't slump again but the truth is - it happens from time to time. I think a dark cloud must roll in and settle directly over my head because that's what I feels like......and I hate it.

Most of you know me as a pretty up beat kind of person - crazy at times and excitable often -but what you probably don't know is that I am also familiar with a little gloom and doom. Pre-marriage (but while dating Erik - bless him) I experienced a season of depression and it rocked my world. My symptoms could have been read straight out of a text book. I was in a "bad way" as one of my friends put it.

I am about 10 years on the other side but still acquainted with that "feeling" of falling under every now and again. Is that Satan trying to drag me down? One of his tactics to get my eyes off the goodness of God and back on "poor, pitiful me"? Or is it just a gentle reminder from God that I desperately need him every second of every day? I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that God is "over and in and through it all"....and in that I will safely rest.

Ever been there?

I'm praying for you all right now - that God would show himself to you in a sweet, personal way today! Be looking for it - God never misses out on an opportunity to love on His beloved!!


Livin La Vida Lopez said...

First off, I am so excited that MAC is going to be in the evenings now so that I can attend! I can't wait to connect with you all, get to know you better and pursue Jesus with you. My Spiritual Birthday was July 24th (1 year) and I've been craving a woman or group of women to share & grow with on a consistent basis.

I, like you, am usually a pretty up beat and out going person but this summer I have felt like I have had no joy whatsoever.. and like I was in a spiritual funk. Thank the Lord that my joy has come back and I have been able to get out of my funk. I feel refreshed, revived and I have my joy back (Praise God).

This is kind of off the subject, but something I feel the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me and working with me on lately comes from 1 Corinthians 19-20 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” We’ve all heard that scripture a million times, but what I’ve really been thinking about lately is – this means My WHOLE body… my eyes & ears included.

Why have I allowed my body (my eyes & ears) to succumb to ‘the world’ when we are ‘aliens and strangers’ to the world? "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” Why have I allowed this with my eyes? By free will, I subject myself to watch things on movies or TV that are not righteous in God’s eyes and at times subject myself to listen to things, music or conversations, that are not righteous in God’s eyes. Why do I feel the need to watch or listen to such things?

A lot of times I rationalize what I’m watching or hearing, by thinking ‘it’s not so bad’ or it’s just a movie/show… But just because something doesn’t seem ‘so bad’ to me doesn’t mean God feels the same way. My prayer is to allow the Spirit to show me “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” by God’s standards, not my own.

So my question to myself and what I’m pondering is: What have I allowed myself to rationalize because I don’t want to give it up? And by not giving it up, am I dodging God’s will for my life by not giving him FULL surrender in these areas?

Am I crazy? Or has anyone else felt this conviction before? Thanks for letting me share and any thoughts or comments are SO appreciated!

"Moms Around the Corners" said...

You are absolutely not crazy! God is doing his mighty work of sanctification in you! And you are speaking straight out of Beth Moore's Daniel study. We are made to live in this corrupted, excessive culture without being poisoned by it. Even in the "little things" like the ones you are describing, God calls us to "set our eyes above". So - Amen sister!! Preach on!!! I pose the same question in a prayer like this: "May I never take pleasure in the things that do not please you."

Can't wait to know you more Renee!!

Amy Wiebe said...

Glad you're back up, my friend! While I haven't struggled with full on depression, I feel like I know so many who have. Plus, I think we all go through down times, and I love that we're using this forum to open up about it and deal with it head on. I think the best remedy aside from prayer is support from our friends.

Livin La Vida Lopez said...

Thank you Carrie! I have found that there are days I forget to die to myself, and I think these are the days/times I feel the most separation from God. However, when I remember to invite him to live in me and through me daily and pray that I get out of my own way - I'm much more open to His correction and it is then I feel like I'm living in the flow of the Spirit with a desire for His will to be done. I have not read anything Beth Moore yet - but I have definitely heard about her, her books and her studies. I just purchased The Forgotten God by Franchis Chan - has anyone read it?

Carrie said...

YES!! It's so great. And if you haven't read his first book "Crazy Love" - you've got to! Both are really great "thinking" books.

You are talking like you've walked this walk for way longer than just a year. That "dying for yourself thing" is what it's all about and there are people who have known Jesus all their lives and still haven't learned to put that concept into practice! I call it the Great Exchange...all that I am in exchange for all that He is. What an offer!!! - and yet how often do we wake up and blow through our day without Him. UGH!!

Dagmar Mueller said...

I used to think about this too, constantly. Made me though super guilt ridden and got me into my slumps and blue times. Yes, we should be careful what we watch and read since once its in our heads its tuff to get out. But all of those changes while healthy and often times needed, only look from the outside in and the bible always focusses on Character and what is going from the inside out.
Yes, outside and inside of a human is connected but I guess we as humans have a tendency to focus on outside influences instead of letting God do his work which is from the inside out and a very passive work for us. We love to be so busy and involved, but I find that God puts me to rest ( me the rather being a Martha than a Mary) and than he does his work in my heart which has a much bigger impact on my surroundings than anything I can do in my flesh.
Does that make sense at all?
Depression is not a stranger to me. I had a Father in law who went through it several times in his life and we watched and held his hand. We thought at times we would never get him back but as fast as he had gone into it, he also came out of it. Praise God!(Meds and Prayer)
I had a burn out once and that wasn't pretty. Made me go into counseling since I wanted to know why!!!!! Why did my heart go crazy, literally? What could I do to change how I react to stress? What is it what bugs me so much that it effects my body without me being able to put it into words.
I found my answers and till now never had to experience this again. Praise God! Its work though. :-)

Livin La Vida Lopez said...

When I first invited Christ into my life, I believed the lie that spiritual maturity came from the amount of years someone had known Christ. I thought that people who knew Christ longer than me were more mature or spiritually alive in Christ than I was. I think I believed that for the first 2 months into my salvation... but a curve ball was thrown mine and Bruno's way with spiritual warfare that was/is very close to home. We had to completely, whole-heartedly dive into the word of God and put our complete Faith and Trust in Him. As a result, I drew near to Him and He drew near to desire to intimately know him grew from there. I'll have to tell you our story one day.

I purchased Crazy Love and plan to start reading it today. I purchased another book called Radical by David Platt - it seems pretty intense and like another 'thinking' book.

Ok, I'll stop posting for now. I'm a talker and will keep posting on here til we're at 40 comments.

"Moms Around the Corners" said...

I love it!! This is what this blog is all about to me. I'd love to hear your whole story some day. We may have to make a coffee date!!

Post a Comment

Designed by Tidal Wave | All Rights Reserved