Two funerals. One great God.

The God we serve is invisible. His ways are a mystery. Unimaginable. Unexplainable. Too lofty for me to comprehend.

But this week, in the midst of extreme heartache and tragedy, I saw HIM ...

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For reasons beyond my understanding, God chose to reveal Himself through death.  Evidence, again, that He is over all and through all and in all things (Ephesians 4:6).

Today, two dear friends of mine are having to learn to live without their husbands.  Their very young children without their dads. 

There are no words ...

Earlier this week, as I cried out to God, begging Him to be with my friends, His voice came, "Baby, I've got this. You don't have to beg me to be there. Just praise me for that fact that I AM. " 

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

They were words that I needed to hear.  I AM. 

I am ...

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I believed His words when He spoke them to me.  By faith, I knew He was there.  But God did more than just tell me.  He showed me. 

Friends, I saw Jesus at a funeral, and I have to tell you, He took my breath away.
God Almighty is His name.  He is The All-Sufficient One. 

He was all over the face of my friend who turned to worship in her grief. 
{He is our Living Hope.}
He was all over her face.  In her smile.  In the way she bravely held her little boy's hand.  In the way she poured out Truth and comfort to those there to comfort her.
{He is our Prince of Peace.}

It was as though you could almost reach out and touch His presence in that room - among friends who dropped everything to be by the side of their friend.
Grace was present.  Strength was there.  Joy sparkling through tears.

When I connect the dots of this week - after two funerals - I can only come back to this:
God is faithful. God is sovereign. 
And even in this, God is good.

How do we wrap our minds around such tragedy?
Christ Alone.

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The wrong place to camp {One question that needs to be asked}

Are you satisfied with where you are in your relationship with Jesus? 

 

{I know it's a very blunt and personal question, but it's one worth giving some serious thought.}

Are you are actively engaged with our Great, Big God? Participating more? Challenged more? Growing more? Digging more?  Investing more?  Learning more?  Loving more?  Praying for more?

I want you to know right off the bat that I'm asking because I care, and because this stuff matters.  I've been hearing some talk lately that has stuck a cord with me, and I have to talk about it.

Really, friend. We should talk about it. 

But first, I want you to hear what I've been hearing and see if any of this resonates with you:

"I was closest with God in college, and that was a long time ago.  I'll never have that kind of relationship with Him again." 

"I hear about 'the power and grace of God' but I'm not experiencing it.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong.  I don't know.  I guess this is as good as it gets."

"I see other people that seem to have an authentic relationship with the Lord, but I just can't seem get there." 

Man-o-man! This kind of talk breaks my heart.

In our spiritual lives (actually in every part of our lives, but let's focus on one, shall we?) we go through ups and downs.  Peaks and valley.  Highs and lows.  We all do.  That's normal.  But trouble comes when we're in a dry spell, and we get stuck.  We get stagnant in the valley.

Then all of a sudden we start questioning this place we're in.  Is this my new normal?  Maybe what I had before was just a phase, and this is it.  Slowly desire wanes.  Time moves on.  We grow a little numb.  We lose our fight for more, and we set up camp in this new, normal, sub par existence with God.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? 
Have you, too, become content with less?
I've been there, and I know it feels rotten. 

I know what it feels like to blow dust off my Bible that must have gotten lost under the bed last week {last month, last year}.  I know the excuses I've made and the pep talks I've given myself about this spiritual slump I was in.  I know the emptiness, the frustration, the disappointment, the confusion, the guilt and the eventual resignation that can happen in a slump. 

I've lived there.  We don't like to talk about these places.  We like to pretend that everything is fine. But, girlfriend, let's you and I be honest today.  This place you're in is not as good as it gets.  It's just not. You were made for more than this.

Did you hear what I just said? 

You were made for more than this.  Immeasurably more.  God has given you a heart to know Him - to find Him and be graciously found by Him.  He's not hiding, even if it feels like He is. 

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Matthew 7:7-8 

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.  James 4:8 

Here's one thing about God that you can count on: HE is after your heart.  If you're reading this, He's after you.  But He will never force Himself upon you. He only and always woos.  The responsibility of receiving and responding lies with you. 

We've all experienced the valley, but the valley isn't home to us, friend.  God's got more for you.  He's got so much more for you just around the next bend.

It's time to pick up camp and move on.  

On yawning (And two songs that I can't stop singing)

Today while taking the Little Mr. to preschool, he and I passed a yawn back and forth about 20 times. (Isn't it so strange that yawns are contagious?) We cracked up laughing every time we felt one coming on. As hard as we tried, neither of us could hold back the yawns or the tears from welling up in our eyes as we did.

In high school, I would often start my private gymnastics lesson with a few big yawns. I'm laughing when I think about it because my mom would get so frustrated with me about it. She suggested I try eating a banana or something in the car on the way so that I wouldn't be so tired during my practice. I decided on some banana runts.  They are the grossest in the runt candy family, so I was sure they had some of the same nutritional power as the real life banana. They seemed to do the trick. (Wink.)

And just so you don't feel like you've wasted the last 30 seconds of your life by reading about my yawns, here are a few yawn facts I learned from google (because google knows everything):

• Contagious yawning gets at the ancient, deep, and subconscious roots of empathy and social bonding.
• Yawns become contagious around age four.
• Researchers recently found that yawning isn’t only catching among people; it is also among chimpanzees and some dogs.
• They've done tons of brain studies and research and still don't really know how or why yawns are contagious.

You're welcome.

I'm not sure if my silent season is over yet or not (by now you're probably wishing me back to quieter times), but I wanted to share with you two songs that helped me along some of my quiet spaces. 

Sometimes God asks us to step away from where we are before we know why we need to leave or where we're even going when we do.  He just tells us it's time to go.  So, we step away from a job that is stable and a church that we've known for years as home.  God says, "Leave." We say, "Where?"  He says, "Just go ... and I will show you." 

In this season of stepping out, God has used this song for my husband and I both like a balm to soothe our souls. 

(I know it's long, but I promise it's worth it.)

The whole song is amazing, but verse two ignites me every time:

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

Oh that I would let Him lead me with His sovereign hand to that place where grace abounds! Fear will no longer be the boss of me.  God made me, so He gets to say who I am.  He gets to call the shots.  He's never failed me and He won't start now. I like that.

On Monday, another song surfaced in my mind.  In light of all that has gone on this week, I'm receiving this as my prayer:

Oh boy! I need Jesus to be my center.  I need Him to be the focus of my attention and the One from which all else flows.  I need Him to be the One who grounds me, guides me and gives me life.
Jesus, be my center. 

Maybe God will use one of these songs to speak to you too.  I don't know what kind of season you're in, but I want you to know I'm praying for you.  Really, I am.

Silenced? Maybe.

It's been quiet around here lately.
Quiet: It's a word I'm learning to lean into.

photo source: Maddie Daggett

Before you start trying to imagine what this quiet might look like, let me explain what it is not:  I'm not at all speaking about a lack of noise in my house.  After all, I still have 3 kids and a hand full of other children who fly in and out of our front door as if they live here too.  We like life this way - with a revolving front door and little people who know that they are (almost) always welcome in. 

The quiet I'm referring to is more of a personal quiet.  Quiet on the blog.  Quiet in the car (Have mercy! I've started turning the radio off while I drive alone.) Quiet in friendships.  Quiet in responsibilities. 

Sometimes quiet for me means something is wrong. It can be translated into, "Why so downcast, Oh my soul?"  But not this time. 

One particular verse, Zephaniah 3:17 (a popular favorite), keeps seeping into the cracks and crevices of my mind.  I've blogged about the verse before a year and a half ago, so I assumed God was just reminding me of the lesson He taught me then. 

 

{If you'd like to read it, that post is here.  It's one of my favorites because it documents a sweet, tender mother/son, Father/daughter moment.}

 

But in this season - in all this quiet - I beginning to realize He's applying the verse in a very different way. 

 

The Lord your God is in your midst, 
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

 

Oh, how I love this verse.  Don't you?

 

.... he will quiet you by his love.   

 

Usually this line is translated, "he soothes you by his love" (and that is exactly how it usually applies to me), but when I dug into my concordance, I felt the Lord practically apply this another way.

 

Quiet, here, is the word charash, which is defined as, "to cut in, plow, engrave; to be silent, to be speechless."  And THAT is exactly what I believe God has been doing in me. (Stay with me.  I promise this will make sense.)

 
At first glance, the thought of being silenced by God seems kind of horrible.  What is this all about? Did I say something wrong?  Are you silencing me for good?  I picture God putting His hand over my mouth, and it feels like a punishment.

But that's not the context of this verse.  This silencing is done out of His great love for us.  Somehow, what's going on here is tender and sweet.  So, now I've changed my mind about this quieting, and I want to lean into the hand over my mouth. 

 

 Just maybe
 

... He will make me silent or speechless by his love {so that I can learn to listen more - so that I dig in and seek Him more - so that I can find and be found.}

 

... he will cut in, plow, engrave by his love {so that He tend to the quiet work of my soul - so that He can inscribe more of His Word on my heart - so that He can prepare me for the harvest ahead.}

 

Like only He can, God has the ability to strip away all that we think we know so that He can teach us that HE IS. 

 

Why am I telling you this? 

Who knows.  Maybe you're feeling silenced too.  If you are, will you lean in?  The Lord confides in those who fear Him (Psalm 25:14).  Can He confide in you?

Or maybe, like me, you're in a season that feels foreign to you.  Do you need to be reminded today that God has a plan, and this very season is part of it.  Even if you can't see through the fog, will you trust that He will work out everything in conformity with the purpose of his perfect will (Ephesians 1:11)?  He knows no other way but good. 

ok.  I'll be quiet now.  Happy day to you. 

3 things that may apply to you too

This time last year, my Bible study was hot off the press.  Brand new.  Released to the masses.
What was for so long a perfectly kept secret between God and me was suddenly visible for all the world to see. 
What a ride! 
In reflecting, God has brought to mind a few things from my journey after publishing - things that apply to our journey as Christ-followers - that I wanted to share with you.

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3 Things I'm learning one year after publishing and how they apply to you too:

#1. Success is found in obedience alone. 
When writing my first Bible study, The Wardrobe of Christ, I genuinely had no idea what would come of it or if anyone other than my husband would read it.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I knew I could coax a few friends into working through it with me ...  and surely my mom and my mentor would take one for the team. 

Yet, the moment the study was public, I became enamored with book sales. (Ugh.  That's hard to see in black and white.) As the tallies slowly trickled in, success seemed to creep further and further away. 

{But God sees my heart, and He has been working.} 
Now, one year later, I'm learning that success is found in obedience alone. Not in book sales. 
Ladies, that's good news for us all. 

The reality is that most of us will never be the best, the brightest or the most beautiful.  We won't win the prize for Mom-of-the-Year.  Our houses will not make the front cover of a magazine.  The world will never give us it's universal stamp of approval.  However, if success is really found in obedience, then we all have a good shot at getting there. Everyday.

What's the last thing God asked you to do?  Obey and succeed. 

Do not let this Book of Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Joshua 1:8

 

#2.  Sometimes being brave looks like daring to be fully me.
It might seem like an strange epiphany but this one is big for me.  As one friend put it, "It's funny how completely confident you are in some things and completely insecure you are in others." She's right.  Oddly confident and oddly insecure. 

When I started blogging more, I began reading more blogs too - blogs from women I respect - women who have been blogging for years -women who are published.  But instead of being challenged and inspired, I felt insignificant and a little lost.  My measuring stick was getting a workout, and I was getting smaller by the day. 

{But God sees my heart, and He has been working.}
This year has been a year of learning how to bravely just be me.
 
Brave is letting you see me for who I really am: the good, the bad, and the ugly. 
Brave is being as confident in person as I am behind the screen (or book pages.)
Brave is telling the truth - being transparent - being vulnerable.
Really brave is letting you see me cry (Baby steps, people, baby steps.) 
I'm still learning.

You're probably already brave like that.  Aren't you?  You don't wear masks or hide behind other people's perceptions of you. But just in case ...  read this from someone who God uses so often to inspire me:

"Your ability to bring glory to God by simply being the person you fully are and embracing the job you’ve been given to do is a uniquely human privilege. Christ is in you and he wants to come out through you in a way he won’t come out through anyone else. ... You have been given your life, what you hold in your hands, the ground beneath your feet. You have been asked to show up. How do I know? Because you were born. Show up as you are, not as you think you ought to be."  - Emily P. Freeman

 

Are you that brave? 

 

#3.  God's approval is the only one that matters (and I already have it.)
I've been chasing after applause for as long as I can remember, although you may never know it. I've gotten really good at acting like I don't care what you think.  But the truth is: sometimes I care too much. 

A performer.  A people pleaser.  Either one will do. I just need for you to be happy.  Oh - and I need you to like me too. 

As soon as the study was released, social media and it's ability to provide instant gratification (or lack there of) quickly fed my need to perform.  How many followers?  How many likes?  Was it a good Amazon review? 

My boundaries were beginning to expand, and the number of people I wanted to please was growing too.

{But God sees my heart, and He has been working.} 
Now, one year later, I'm reminded that God's approval is the only one that matters, and I already have it. 

Nothing I can do or say will add to my value.  Ever.
Right now - today - God is pleased with me because of Jesus.  Not because of me.
His acceptance is a gift - by grace, through faith.  Not by works, so that I can never boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

And you know what ... He's pleased with you too. 
You.  Just the way you are. 
It's time we put down our hoops, my friends.  We've been juggling them for far too long. 

As as for my need to please you - well, that's one I'll need grace for everyday.  I'm still learning.  I'm finding, however, that the harder I chase after the heart of God, the less I'm captured by the ways of this world.  The more I am filled by Him, the less I need from you ... and I like that. 

It's been an exciting, challenging year for me. 
And thankfully, God sees my heart, and He's been working.

What's God been working on in you?

Choosing to believe

Long ago, at a weekend retreat with a friend, when asked to share our favorite Bible verse,

I chose this one: Psalm 73:26

Source: Pinterest

I was just a freshman in high school ...

and although I had no real understanding of the Truth behind this verse, 

I knew I needed it to be true.

I knew I needed God to be my strength. 

I knew I needed Him to be my rock.  My foundation. 

And I knew He needed to be enough.

At 36, with a little more past behind me and a lot more learning ahead,

I can look back at my 14 year old self and tell her she was right. 

She didn't know it yet, but what she chose to believe is true. 

God's Word is true.

 

I may be weak, but God's Spirit is strong in me.

My flesh may fail {and it does everyday}, but my God never will.

 

We need a rock, my friends, and God is that rock.

He is able and He is enough.

 

The reality is that here on earth, life happens. 

And it's painful and disappointing and ever-changing,

and that's hard, but we are not alone.

 

God has given us a book filled to the brim with Truth.

Not solid advice or good-feeling words but life-giving Truth.

We have to decide, whether we understand it all or not,

that we're going to live like it's true. 

We're going to choose to believe.

We're going to open the Word and let Him change us. 

Radically. From the inside out.

 

I didn't understand the depth of my need at 14. 

I still don't.

 But I know this much to be true:

 

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Do I sound like a broken record?  Maybe. But it's true.

Open the Word.

Find LIFE there.

 

Is there are specific verse of scripture that God continues to put before you? 

Maybe today is the day you need to choose to believe it's true.

A Weekend Prayer

May this last weekend in February find you doing less but experiencing more.  More peace.  More joy.  More simple wonder of the God Who Is.  And as you go about your day to day, may He awaken you to the beauty and purpose of the ordinary, everyday.  Happy Weekend, Friends.

photo source: Maddie Dagget



Father, for all the good of the everyday, I thank you.
I thank you for what is ordinary and for what I am likely to take for granted.
I thank you for waking to the breath of my husband and the sound of my children.
I thank you for this day, the unspectacular, the everyday. It holds a beauty and purpose that I can easily miss.
I thank you for Jesus, who reminds me that a small life, tucked into the most unsuspecting corner of time and place, is a beautiful life, a holy life.
And whatever good you have for me to receive and to do today, give me the eyes to apprehend and the willingness to embrace.
- by Jen Michel of Finding My Pulse