My mentor has a knack for giving really good gifts. No matter what the occasion, she always seems to find the “just right” gift to show how much she cares.
But aside from the many wonderful things she’s given me through out the years, it’s the intangible gifts she continuously offers that have impacted my life exponentially.
In honor of her birthday today, I wanted to share with you three gifts we can offer each other – three gifts modeled beautifully through my relationship with my dear friend and mentor, Mary Kay.
#1: The gift of listening.
Although simple, the gift of listening is rare. Most of us can probably count on one hand the number of people in our lives who truly listen. My mentor is at the top of my list.
The gift of listening is a discipline. It’s a selfless commitment to another. It’s offered without agenda. Its work is patient. Its investment is deep. It hears beyond words and sees behind smiles. When someone offers us the gift of listening, we leave feeling honored, valued and understood.
My mentor has offered this gift to me for years. She has selflessly pulled up to the table and offered her presence, her heart, her ear.
#2: The gift of thoughtful questions.
The sister-gift to listening is this second gift: the gift of thoughtful questions. After years of meeting together, I have learned to appreciate the richness of this gift.
Often when we meet, I enter our conversation with a head full of thoughts and questions. After I’ve used up all my words, I sit in quiet space with my mentor hoping for a simple solution, clear direction or my next right thing to do.
The easy response would be to counsel, instruct or redirect. But easy does not entice my mentor.
Instead of fast-tracking me to an easy answer (like I’d like), my mentor honors me by asking thoughtful questions. By engaging me in this way, she speaks confidence to my soul. Her questions tell me that she believes in me. But more than that, they prove that she trusts in the work of Christ in me. She knows I can dig deeper to unearth truth for myself. Because she knows the value of the process, she patiently listens and wisely asks.
The gift of thoughtful questions provides time and space for us to grow.
#3: The gift of prayerful companionship.
This last gift is the greatest of them all: the gift of prayerful companionship.
My mentor has given me the gift of companionship over time, both in hours and in years. For more than ten years now, she has faithfully walked by my side.
I can see her now, smiling across the table. “Whatever it is, I’m with you.”
And she is. She’s with me. In the triumphs. In the disappointments. In the mundane. In the mess. Through the tears and the laughter. She is with me.
And all the while, she’s praying. Praying me awake. Praying for through. Praying me forward.
On several occasions, after I’ve shared my latest “AHA” moment, she flashes a smile that tells me another prayer has been answered. My story was her confirmation. (How amazing is that?!?)
There are no words to describe what this gift means to me. Only heaven knows the impact of all her invested prayers.
Together these gifts have reaped deep respect, trust and admiration. I want to grow up to be just like her. She is a life poured out for the benefit and blessing of another. I can think of no greater gift to give than that.
These three gifts – the gift of listening, the gift of thoughtful questions, and the gift of prayerful companionship – are gifts worth giving. Obviously not limited to a mentor-relationship, they are gifts for us all. Generously sown, abundantly reaped – to our spouses, our children and our closest friends.
Mary Kay, You 
are beautiful and wise. Tender and strong. Thank you for taking the time to know me well. I love that you are careful and thoughtful with your words. You know just how far you can push me. You call me out with grace. Much to my dismay, you also know when it’s best to pause, wait and pray. You have no idea how many times I start a conversation with “My mentor says …”. Your words – your presence – your investment – your life have changed me. I’m better for knowing you, and so very thankful to live life with you. You are one of life’s greatest gifts!
Happiest of birthdays to you, friend. I hope it’s the best one yet!
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