When it gets hard

I went for a jog tonight.
Don’t be impressed.  The truth is I really hate to run.  I wish I liked it but alas, I don’t.

I didn’t actually set out to run.  I was out for a normal walk when all of a sudden I felt the urge to pick up the pace.  And since that almost never happens, I decided to give it a try. 

Right off the bat, I was feeling great.  My pace was good.  My breathing was controlled.  I thought to myself, “Ok. I can do this!” With my eyes focused on the horizon ahead, I was sure I had turned a new leaf … I was a runner!

A few minutes later (let’s pretend like “a few” means 30, when actually we’re probably talking less than 5), I wasn’t doing too hot.  My breathing sounded more like gasping and my body was hurting all over.  How is it that all of a sudden my feet felt like they were trudging through five inches of mud? 

So I quit.

That’s when I heard that small voice from deep inside. “So is that what you do when things get hard?   You quit?”  I knew right away this voice was from God because there wasn’t an ounce of accusation in its tone. 

“Surely you just saw that God. I couldn’t do it anymore.  It felt miserable.  I was hurting all over.  I might have been dying.”

“So is that what you’re going to do in that situation that you’re struggling so much with right now?  It’s hard, so you’re going to quit?”

Ok.  Now He had me.

Here’s what I walked home with tonight – the things that running reminded me as it pertains to my current struggle {and maybe yours too}:

1.  Just because I felt like I was dying as I ran didn’t mean it was true.  Feelings do not determine truth.  Therefore, feelings cannot be my guide – not in running or in life.  

Sometimes keeping my feelings in check is a full time job.  I mean really – we can be a mess, can’t we girls?  When I get all bogged down by how I feel, my circumstances take center stage.  I can’t see beyond my ever-pressing here and now.  Real Truth (ie: God’s Word) sets my eyes on things above – on the One who has it all in His hands – and that makes all the difference.

2.  Hard doesn’t mean bad.  It just means hard.  God sometimes asks me to remain in that hard place longer than I think I can stand so that I learn to depend on Him.  The moment that I say, “I give up.  I can’t do this anymore” is the exact place that God steps in and says, “Thank you!  Now let me show you what I can do through you.”  Hard pushes me towards dependence, and that’s always a good thing!

3.  It’s ok to slow down and catch my breath – but being tired is not an excuse to quit.  Find some oxygen and get moving again!  Jesus is always inviting me in – offering a place of refuge.  He is the One who restores and renews.  He is the One who resurrects and makes whole. 

Makes me think of this …

Yes!  Lead me to that Rock!!

Running served a great purpose for me tonight, but next time I’m out, I’ll be walking. I’m pretty sure God just needed to get me winded to allow me to hear Him more clearly.