I have a love/hate relationship with writing this blog.
Sometimes it’s all I can think about … like taking a breath, it’s what comes out of me. There’s a bit of therapy in hammering out the thoughts in my head – of putting the pencil to the paper – by which, of course, I mean hitting little black keys. When faced with the blaring white screen of the computer, I am forced to find words to express my heart, and in doing that, God teaches, heals and renews me.
So often when I hear from God, I know it’s not just for me. It’s for US – God’s Word is meant to be lived out corporately. To see His Word come alive – to see the way it moves, transforms, redeems … that’s for all of us! That’s why I open blank pages and stumble to translate His Word in a way that makes sense to you (and to me.)
But I have to be honest, this writing also exposes me. It stripes me down and leaves me lying there, vulnerable. How can I write about my life without revealing the real me? Without letting you see the real mess? I try not to care about how you’ll receive it, or if you’ll even read it, but the truth of the matter is I do. And I hate that I do.
There are so many other blogs you can read – so many that are more thought provoking and oh, so beautifully written. Filled with doubt and unbelief, I want to tell you to just read those blogs, find God there. Fear tells me to quit – to let the real writers do the writing.
But I can’t.
Today’s challenge: Do the thing that God has called you to do – even when you are filled with doubt and fear. All for the glory of God!
Sherri says
Doubt and fear is my middle name, my first name being MESS my friend and I can't and won't let it cover you. I hope you don't feel alone long, and that you feel it but know that I heart your heart always. You are a real writer, and people want to read your words, I want to read your words. There is a book when God winks at you, and you my friend wink at others through your words, your openess, your vulnerability. You are real , and I love you.
Carrie Rogers says
Thank you Sherri! Your words made me smile. Oh how I love the idea of winking at others through words.