For the last couple of weeks, we’ve been dealing with a situation with one of our kids at school, and it has been hard. Hard on my husband and I, and hard on our child. And while I promise to be vague in the retelling of this story, I believe there’s truth in it for us all.
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
The first time the principal called to talk about my child, I cried. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop the tears. My child’s character was being questioned, and it broke my heart (and maybe my pride). My child made a mistake, but they were wrong about him. He is not who they think he is.
After school we talked to our child, dealt with his infraction and moved on. This would be a growing experience for him and for us. It would be for our good.
Mamma Bear to the Rescue?
As the weeks rolled on and the false accusations kept coming, I started to get mad. I re-played conversations in my head. I spewed my frustration to friends. I started calling names and making accusations of my own.
I was reacting. I was defending. I had morphed into full-fledged Mamma Bear.
I know we (as women) pride ourselves on our inner Mamma Bear. We pride ourselves on the strength and resilience that arises when we need to come to our children’s aid – to be their defenders – to protect them.
But over the last couple of weeks, Mamma Bear hasn’t felt like anything to brag about. Although she has had the appearance of strong, she has felt pretty weak, fragile even. She has felt out of control and wild at the mouth. And full of pride.
For me, Mamma Bear is my flesh, raging.
After another email and more accusations, I started to see this for what it was. This was an attack. I pushed away from my kitchen table, unable to work with my heart like this.
Fuming, I decided to cool off in the shower. As water pounded on my back, His Word came to me clearly.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood … Ephesians 6:12
That was it. My life-line. It was truth to grab hold of – to wake me up – to open my eyes.
I put my head down and whispered a quiet, “Thank you.” Humbled, I knew what I had to do.
Right there in the shower, I surrendered Mamma Bear to the authority of Jesus. And I prayed a prayer that went something like this:
“Lord, right now we are under attack. But this battle is not against flesh and blood. It’s not about moms or their boys. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy, and he’s been hard at work. But NO MORE. I will not to play into his schemes any longer. I lay myself down, Jesus. No more Mamma Bear. I need you. Fight this battle for us, I pray.”
The next morning, I received another call from inside the school. This time it was a teacher. She said, “I heard what’s going on, and I’m sorry. But I want you to know we have your back. We have your boy’s back. You’re going to get through this.”
When I hung up the phone, I whispered another prayer of thanks. My God was already at work, fighting for us from inside the walls. (Cue more tears.)
These are truths I know. I know that there is far more to this fight than words spoken over email and far more at stake than my boy’s reputation. Flesh and blood battles are mere tools of our real enemy lurking in the spiritual realm. I know this. With every fight in the physical, there is a greater spiritual battle at stake. But when storms rage and the battle presses in, it’s so easy to forget. When the rubber meets the road, it’s not what we know that speaks loudest. It’s what we practice.
These last two weeks, I haven’t lived the truth I know to be true.
And all the while, God was not idly standing by, shaking His head at me in disapproval. He saw the Mamma Bear rise up in me. He heard me spout off words in pride. He knows my heart intimately. He is familiar with my independent ways. But He doesn’t turn His back on me. Not ever. Instead, He quietly woos me back. He offers His Word of Truth as legs to stand on. He pours out His grace – takes my load – and reminds me over and over …
The LORD will fight for you; you only need to be still. Exodus 14:14
I don’t know what battles you’re facing right now, but you don’t have to fight them alone. Our God fights for us, and His victory is sure. Lay to down your weapons, surrender your heart and lean into Jesus. He is everything you will ever need.
Janet Scott says
Thank you for sharing your heart! The death of Mama Bear is a hard fought battle- I find that she is capable of rearing her head when even a remnant of the circumstance manages to roll back around and re-open old wounds. He reminds me that mercy triumphs over judgement and that He is faithful to restore all that is broken. I love that He is faithful to give beauty for ashes when I choose to surrender and allow Him to be my refuge and shield.!
Yes Janet. Me too!!
Velveteen ~ love.