Permission not to dream

I need to confess something: I’m not a dreamer.

I’m not someone who lets my imagination run wild with plans about the future. I hardly ever sit down to list out goals, and I’ve never attempted to write out a five year plan.

… Which is all fine and good until I start seeing things like this …

Then suddenly I start feeling bad about my lack of dreaming, as if there was something wrong with me or something.

Quickly my focus turns to so-and-so and you-know-who who challenge us to dream big. I can clearly see the ways that God has used their crazy-eyed dreams to move mountains. With my eyes turned to them (instead of Him), I feel un-usable, useless even. In a matter of minutes I crumble under the weight of comparison and lies.

Out of insecurity, I have looked for permission not to dream – for someone to stand up and say, “It’s ok not to dream. God can use you even if you don’t dream audacious dreams”, but I’ve never found it. Instead, I’ve had to fix my eyes and settle in on my choice, and trust that it’s right for me.

You see … I can dream, but I choose not too.

For me – dreams can become idols. Goals and plans easily become the things I chase after instead of God. The reality is that my flesh – the part of me that loves to perform and please and accomplish for me – can’t be trusted with dreams just yet (if ever).

I have resolved to follow Jesus.

Not my heart. Not my dreams. Not my goals.

Just Jesus.

So I trade my dreams, and I rest in His. (He says His dreams for me are immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.)

And you know what: God is faithful. As long as my eyes are fixed on Him, I can clearly see my next right thing to do … and that has always more than enough for me.

So, this year, as the dreamers begin dreaming, I will be thinking and praying forward. By faith, I will write down what I believe to be my “next right things to do”. And when my mind starts trying to make plans and run with them in the flesh (like it likes to do), I will choose to surrender them at the feet of The One who holds 2015 in His hands.

I might not dream big dreams, but I do follow a great, big God who goes before me, knows what’s best for me and will never withhold good from me.

Here’s to believing big for 2015!

May it be a year that makes much of Jesus.

{And by the way – If you are a dreamer and God uses those dreams to propel you forward … dream on!}

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