The lure to productive.

As I type, I’m sitting on my couch watching the Price is Right with my Middle Miss, who’s home sick from school. It’s not every day that you get to introduce your daughter to such a classic. The jury’s still out on whether I’m earning cool points for this one or not. {She just asked, “Why are they all so excited?!?” Great question, darling.}

The moral to the story: I’m getting nothing done today. Again.

Last week when the boy was home sick, I got caught up on all things Peter Rabbit, Dino Dan, and Lab Rats – none of which benefitted me in preparation for my upcoming retreat this weekend.

I can feel the stress ball up tight and settle in right between my shoulder blades.

Hello. My name is Carrie, and I am addicted to being productive {which is near impossible to be with sick kids at home.}

It’s something I’ve been fighting since the kids went back to school. As a stay-at-home mom with a 3 kids in school, I feel a huge amount of pressure to be productive, as if I need to earn my keep. With all those extra hours at my disposal, surely I should be getting something important done while the kids are away at school.

Do you feel that pressure too?

We all label productive differently. To some, productive is a spotless house. To others, it’s boxes checked off a to-do list.  To me, productive is Bible study pages written and speaking topics thought all the way through.

My addiction to productivity stems from my former performance based identity, which still rears it’s ugly head from time to time. The flesh never gets better, you know. It may be quieter now and win less often, but it never fully goes away.

{My performance based identity thrives on performing well. It works hard to earn approval. It likes to be liked. It loves to please. Do you know this lie too?}

So last week, when the boy was down and the stress started creeping, I had to whisper myself some serious truth.

Presence is more important than productive.
{Carrie, choose presence.}

Last week I had to push away the computer and the books and remind myself that this is what I’m home for. Giving these kids my full attention – my presence – is the most important thing. I get to be here when my littles are sick. I get to wrap my full attention to bringing them crackers and sprite – in doing their laundry – in spraying disinfectant on the door knobs and light switch one more time. 

I’m not being very productive, but I’m here, giving my people my most important thing.

When the holidays roll in and the lists begin piling up, will you help me to remember that presence is more important than productive? Let’s you and I both make a habit of choosing the most important thing.