I’ve been thinking a lot about the post I wrote recently. You know – the one where I claimed that this would be my new mantra:
Yep. That’s the one.
Well, here’s the truth about that big, bold statement: Right now, it’s far from true.
Over the last week, God has been exposing me, and in the process, He’s been showing me how fear is intricately woven in the fabric of my life.
Not faith. Fear.
Every time I try to control my circumstances or the circumstances of those I love – fear.
When my insecurities surface like a three headed monster – fear.
The way I try protect and surround myself and those I love with every comfort – fear.
The people pleaser in me that needs you to be happy – fear.
Shall I go on?
All of these are rooted in fear. And guess what fear is rooted in: unbelief.
The problem with my faith is that my fears are bigger than my view of God. I hate saying that out loud, but it has to be true. If I really believed {deep down} that God is real, always with me and enough, what would I fear?
Really? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
Take David, for example.
He knew that God was for Him and that God was enough. His view of God and of his life to come was bigger than his view of life on earth. That’s why he could take one look at Goliath and say, “I’ll fight Him. God is bigger than this fool.” {My paraphrase, of course.}
David wasn’t a reckless, over-confident little boy. He was an awe-struck, God-fearing example to us all.
My view of God has to grow if I want to live a life of faith. I guess that’s why A.W. Tozer says, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” God is the stick by which everything else is measured.
How big is your God?
Is He bigger than your fears?
Is He bigger than all those Goliaths who dare to cross the battle line and threaten the integrity of your God?
These are the questions I’ve been asking myself.
My answer: I have a lot of growing to do.
So, this week I have been practicing faith. As a friend suggested, I’ve been approaching each moment with, “I trust you, God.” Baby steps that choose faith over fear. Faith over control. Faith over worries. Faith over insecurities.
Father, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)
{Need a book to wreck you in all the right ways? Try reading Anything, by Jennie Allen. This post is just me beginning to process what she’s laid out so beautifully.}
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