6 Things I Learned in April

This month almost got away from me before I took the time to pause and look back on the month gone by. Thankfully today gave me that chance.

#1: It’s ok to take a nap while the kids are at school.

I’m pretty disciplined with my time between the hours of 8 and 3. My desire is to get “my stuff” done while my people aren’t here so that I can be present with them when they are. That, and I’m slightly addicted to the feeling of being productive.

This month, however, I let myself nap when I needed it. And in doing so, I’m learning that giving myself the space (and grace) to rest is right and good.

#2: My friends can’t pass by an “R” without sending me a picture and asking if I need it.

This month I have gotten at least 3 texts from friends asking if I need this “R”. This makes me smile (and sometimes laugh out loud).

(This one might be a little too big.)

When we moved into our house over seven years ago, I started an “R” wall in our entry way. Let’s just say, it’s a little out of control now.

#3: I can ride a bus without throwing up!

I have missed so many field trip opportunities with my kids throughout the years because of my fear of barfing on the bus. Getting carsick is no fun, and being stuck on a hot bus with screaming kids is recipe for disaster.

The last time I rode on one was when I was a teacher. I rode the big yellow bus all the way from east Garland to Six Flags with my soon-to-be-graduating eighth graders, and I almost lost it! It was not pretty. Since then, I vowed “NO MORE BUSES.”

But when my Big, a 7th grader, asked me if I’d go with her on a school field, how could I say no!?!

Yall. I did it. I rode the bus and didn’t bark. I almost peed my pants, but I didn’t barf. I’m calling this a VICTORY. (And possibly trading my barf bags for diapers.)

#4: I’m not scared anymore.

I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend over lunch years ago. We were talking about growing opportunities for me (in writing and speaking) and I said to her, “I want so badly to do these things with the right motives. I’m scared of my pride – of me trying to make this about me. I just want my motives to be pure.” To which she replied, “They won’t be. Do it anyways.”

She had no idea the freedom that those words would eventually provide. They weren’t permission to be prideful. Not at all. But in them was the grace to see that I will never arrive at the place where I’m cleaned up enough – good enough – perfected enough – to qualify me for God’s use.

A couple weeks ago, this picture popped up in my Amazon search:

 

And you know what? I didn’t feel pride. I felt humbled. Humbled that He is willing to use me in spite of me. Humbled to participate at all. These studies are the work of Jesus. They are evidence of His grace. They prove God’s faithfulness, not mine. For that, I am grateful.

#5: Learning to be vulnerable is changing me.

Even the word vulnerable used to give me hives.

Anyone else resemble the quote below?

In the past, I was absolutely “drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine.” It’s a good thing I didn’t know how vulnerable releasing a Bible study would be. Had I known how utterly exposed I would feel, I would never have done it.

But I’m so glad I did.

Showing up to this life of ours and letting people see who we really are is brave. And every time we do it, our courage grows.

I used to be scared to death to cry on stage. Several ugly cries later, and I’m better for it.

If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” Brené Brown.

I’m starting to believe it’s true.

#6: Never buy a cute swimsuit off a Facebook ad from a company you’ve never heard of.

Especially if it’s being shipped from China.

Important things.

What did you learn this month? As always, I’d love to hear from you.